My oldest son turns six today. Over a decade ago, I would have envisioned this birthday much differently. Ideally, his Pappaw and Grandma would be headed over to our home to celebrate with him and shower him with way more gifts than any six year old should ever receive.
Instead, his mom wrote the final check this week to settle her parents’ small estate.
I decided to write this to help others be better prepared than we were. This is to provide information on what to have in place BEFORE death of a loved one, or God forbid, yourself.
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What I Wish We Would Have Known
Ultimately, there is so much I wish I would have known before my last parent passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. AND I know I need to get my own affairs in order in case the forbidden happens way earlier than expected.
My last post focused on leaving your legacy with lifelong memories AND in your own handwriting, which everyone should start NOW. 
This post that you’re reading now will revolve around more of the business side of things. I will share the (very few) things I was thankful for that we did right, but also the things I would have better prepared for if I had known how.
Things we did well beforehand (even though we were very ignorant about this topic):
—Discussion with our parent
A couple years before my dad died, my oldest brother and I had sat down with him for a couple hours with the plan to discuss these things. I am so thankful for the intentionality of that day, though I wish this very affordable resource would have been available to me. It would have been very helpful to guide our discussion and gain the information we needed.
We discussed several things, including information that was still in effect from his father’s will, who had passed away over two decades before. Let me tell you up front that THAT scenario leads to crazy family drama plus lots of expensive legal hurdles to jump. Much of that could have been prevented.
—A Will
We discussed my dad’s will, and learned he had written one. He had his wishes on paper, and we discussed the same wishes in person with him.
—Funeral arrangements
Because of my mom’s death several years prior, it was an easy decision to use the same funeral home. We knew he wanted to be buried in the same cemetery as my mom and her family.
—Safe deposit box
My brother and I had signed the bank paperwork to be able to get into Dad’s safe deposit box.
—Financial matters
We knew which bank he used, and were somewhat familiar with the bills he paid each month. We also knew he kept important documents, like birth certificates and his social security card, in his fire-safe box. 
Thankfully, we had all the above things taken care of. Unfortunately, that was about all we knew to discuss. Little did we know, there was SO MUCH we didn’t know to ask about that was left out of our intentional discussion.
Checklist of What To Have In Place Before Death
Erick and I have gone through Dave Ramsey’s Legacy Journey and are still working on our files to go in our Legacy Box. Here is a list of things we know we need to have in place before death. (Hint: that means get them in place ASAP while you’re alive and well!)
Disclaimer: The information in this article is in no way intended to be professional legal advice, or to be acted upon as such. This information is based solely on my limited experience and knowledge of estate planning and is intended to provide the basic information for one to get started preparing their estate plan. I highly recommend seeking professional, legal advice, especially when dealing with more complicated estates.
☐ Will and Estate Plans
All information pertaining to your will and estate, including names of the executor and Power of Attorney should be located in one file. Erick and I created a will a couple years ago, and emailed everyone involved a copy. We also told them where our written and notarized one is located in our home.
☐ A Living Will or Advance Directive
This is a legal document in which you name someone to communicate with medical personnel regarding your treatment preferences should you become incapacitated or otherwise unable to express your preferences yourself. My dad had no final medical treatment, so it wasn’t a problem we didn’t have this, but many people DO need this. It needs to be a signed document as medical professionals cannot follow a verbal affirmation by family members.
☐ Financial Accounts
List anything that has your name on it and money in it. This includes the financial institution, account names, amount and account numbers.
☐ Funeral Instructions
All details and specifications for funeral plans should be listed so the family can fulfill your wishes. If you are married, you need one for you and one for your spouse. We were thankful to find a rough draft of dad’s plans among his paperwork.
☐ Insurance Policies
All insurance information, including health, car, disability, term life, etc., should be combined into one single document for easy reference. List the type of insurance, who the policy is for, contact information and policy numbers.
☐ Other Important Documents
Any legal or other important documents you have should be listed. This includes deeds, birth certificates, Social Security cards and titles.
☐ Monthly Budget
Add a copy of your written budget, so your loved ones know how to operate your household once you’re gone. This will help your family keep track of bills and focus on more important things. My dad had an updated spreadsheet with his bills and date due, which was a huge help!
(Side note: If you need to get your own monthly budget in place, take the Penny Steward Mama Budget Challenge! It’s hosted the last few days of every month and you’ll have your budget all set up by the 1st of the month! Sign up for the Penny Steward Mama budget challenge here! )
☐ Tax Returns
Keeping tax returns is like an insurance policy for yourself in the event that you get audited from the IRS. We could not find my dad’s most recent tax return, and it was huge hassle contacting the IRS to get the needed information in order to file his personal and estate taxes after his death.
☐ Passwords
Write down all passwords, combinations, usernames and PIN numbers. This information allows your loved ones access to any documents, money or information that is left when you are gone. Oh, how I wish my dad would have had this all laid out for us! This was a huge part of the “detective work” and caused so much time to be wasted. I don’t fault him for being unprepared, but I know it was time he would have preferred for us to be spending with our families instead.
☐ Safe Deposit Box
Keep copies of all of the above papers in a safe deposit box—you can never be too careful. Include information in your Legacy Box or wherever you keep your files at home about where your safe deposit box is and who has access to it.
Putting It All Together So You Have Everything in Place Before Death
The above checklist includes so many things that we did not think to discuss or take care of beforehand, but they will make all the difference when you are dealing with loss of a loved one. For the sake of your family, please don’t wait to start putting these things together!
If that list seems daunting (it does to me!), I have been blessed to come across a wonderful resource that is VERY affordable and comprehensive. If I would have had it two years ago and knew then what I know now, it would have been a no-brainer.
This resource is the ICE (In Case of Emergency) Binder. It’s only $29 and will save your family (or you, if you gift it to a loved one!) a lot of hassle, time, and even grief. You want to be truly able to grieve your loved one and have less stress surrounding the business side of things. Check out the ICE (In Case of Emergency) Binder here!
After the many months, time, and frustration it took to settle my parents’ small estate, I beg you to start on your estate planning NOW! Pick one item from the checklist (or order the ICE Binder), and make it a priority to get started! Please learn from our family’s lack of knowledge instead of having to learn the lesson the hard way once it’s too late.
I beg you to let this checklist guide you toward stewarding your estate planning intentionally!
And, as always, continue to steward your money — and your life — intentionally.
Heather
P.S. Any questions or thoughts? Always feel free to email me at pennystewardmama@gmail.com. Also, check us out on Facebook at Penny Steward Mama or for deeper accountability in stewarding intentionally, check out the private Facebook Accountability Group!
